Below you will find the revised version of my ad analysis. Click the underlined words to view external links. Find the revisions I made in the blue boxes.

“Whodunnit”: A Cinematic Masterpiece Shot on...an iPhone?

I changed the title from "Apple's Whodunnit Commercial, and Why It Works So Well" in order to create more interesting and eye-catching title to pull readers in.

Rather than hiding the description of murder mysteries in the middle of the introduction, I moved it to the front in order to hook my readers and make them interested in reading more.

A mysterious murder. Anonymous clues. A family full of suspects and motives and a large amount of money left in a will, topped off with a dramatic soundtrack. Whether it’s Clue (1985), Murder on the Orient Express (2017), or the more recent Knives Out (2019), we’re all familiar with the classic murder mystery film. But what if it was shot on an iPhone? Apple’s 2021 “Whodunnit” commercial, which was shot

entirely on an iPhone 13, encapsulates the classic elements of the murder mystery while also displaying the new phone’s capabilities—specifically its new Cinematic mode. Cinematic mode allows users to change the object in focus (depth-of-field) with a simple tap on the screen, transforming normal phone videos into cinema-quality films. You no longer need an expensive camera to create a professional-grade movie. With this ad, Apple sells accessibility to professional filmmaking to aspiring videographers by hooking in their audience with a narrative plot and displaying the quality and simplicity of their new product.

The commercial opens with a police car parked in front of a manor and a suspenseful instrumental track. As the camera approaches the car, it moves up and focuses on the mansion in the background as the title of the commercial, “Whodunnit,” appears in a classic, yellow font.

The scene then cuts to the crime scene: an empty area above a fireplace, roped off with caution tape. A painting is missing. The words, “Shot on iPhone 13,” are edited over the place where the painting once was. A hand holding a photo of what the scene looked like before the theft appears in the foreground. As the hand is removed from the shot, the words, “In Cinematic mode,” appear in the empty spot on the wall. The camera then cuts to the detective of the case who is staring at the

crime scene. A crew of characters—a grandfather, his daughter, a rebel teenage granddaughter, a young grandson, and a butler—watches as the detective searches the room for clues. The characters dart their eyes between one another, silently accusing each other of the crime. The music crescendos into dramatic suspense when the detective finds the butler’s coat button at the scene. The butler, now handcuffed, sits in

the back of the police car. The camera returns to the opening scene as the police car drives away. As the camera pans down, the young boy, drawing a mustache on the stolen painting, moves into focus. He turns toward the camera and smiles. The screen cuts to black as the words “The End” appear before showing the Apple logo.

“Whodunnit” is part of a short film commercial series created by Apple in 2021 to depict the iPhone 13’s new features. The commercial was released on Youtube in 2021 and received nearly 3 million views and over 50,000 likes. The description on the official posting reads: “Cinematic mode on iPhone 13 adds shallow depth of field and shifts focus automatically. Add more drama.” As the caption suggests, Apple assumes that their audience has a flair for the dramatic. They enjoy all of the elements involved in creating a story through cinematography, as the name “Cinematic mode” implies. Although the advertisement is entertaining for all to watch, this story-line approach Apple uses specifically targets filmmakers.

Each of my body paragraphs received a thorough revision, focusing on sentence structure and clarity. In my original copy, some sentences were simply weak. The subject and verb were not strong, and the important information came in the dependent clause of the sentence. This prohibited my audience from fully grasping the important points, and I was throwing a lot of empty language at them. For my revision, I restructured certain sentences to ensure that the important information was in the subject/verb, not the dependent clause.

Unlike most commercials, “Whodunnit” employs a narrative approach. Like any good story, Apple follows the traditional plot structure: exposition (the introduction to

the scene), rising action (the detective finding clues, suspects accusing one another), climax (the detective finding the butler’s button), falling action (the butler being arrested), and resolution (the police car driving away and the boy drawing on the painting). Apple’s commercial also includes suspenseful music that builds alongside the plot. The music, a classical orchestration, begins soft and slow. As the tension in the plot grows, the music intensifies. The music reaches a crescendo at the climax of the plot. After the butler has been arrested, the music becomes softer again, signifying that the conflict has reached a resolution. The plotline and the soundtrack work together to build the

story and ensure Apple’s narrative structure is evident. This approach

hooks in those who truly resonate with storytelling: filmmakers. While

the plot appeals to the creativity and innate storytelling skills of filmmakers, it also shows filmmakers what they would be able to create with Apple’s product—a storyline worthy of a movie theater setting. By first hooking in their audience with an element (storytelling) that appeals to them, Apple can now move into selling their true product: accessibility.

Some topic sentences also received revisions in order to improve clarity and transitions between paragraphs. This topic sentence used to read: "One of the ways Apple’s commercial sells accessibility is by using an iPhone 13 to film the ad, showing off the capabilities of the new Cinematic mode." I moved the important information (Apple using an iPhone to film) to the front of the sentence to emphasize that this was how Apple was selling accessibility. Now, the crux of my sentence is the first thing readers read, not hidden at the back.

Simply by using an iPhone 13 to film the commercial, Apple sells accessibility to high-quality video making to amateur filmmakers. The new Cinematic mode allows users to change the object in focus, blurring the foreground or background while the central object remains clear. While this may not be a standout feature for regular consumers, the ability to change the depth-of-field while actively shooting a video on a phone camera is a breakthrough for beginning filmmakers. Most cameras with this ability cost between a few hundred and several thousand dollars. With this new feature, filmmakers at any skill level can use something as everyday, portable, and inexpensive as their phone to create comparable-quality content. By using an iPhone 13 to film the commercial,

Apple is showing that their product enables beginning filmmakers to access professional-level film quality without the professional-level costs.

Not only does Apple show what the phone can do, but it also shows how easy it is to use Cinematic mode by combining camera movement with eye movement. The commercial lacks dialogue and includes minimal text. The absence of language—both verbal and visual—forces movement to depend on the eyes: where one character’s eyes go, so does the camera’s focus. This is evident in the multiple clips of one character turning to look at another character in the background. When the character in focus turns to an out-of-focus character, the camera’s focus changes so that the foreground character is blurred and the background character is clear. Not only is Apple showing that their new phone has the ability to change focus, but they are also showing that changing focus is as easy as following your eyes, further amplifying the

While revising my essay, I removed "fluffy" words—mostly adjective and adverbs that were intended to emphasize a point yet actually weakened it, such as "very," "so," "extremely," and "completely." These words offer no new information and ultimately diminish the meaning of my sentence. By deleting these words, I'm crafting stronger sentences and clearly communicating my meaning.

accessibility that their product offers. Simply tap where you want the focus to move to and voilà. You don’t even need dialogue to explain how easy it is.

With “Whodunnit,” Apple proves that their new iPhone 13 brings accessibility to beginning filmmakers. Apple assumes that filmmakers love a good story, so they take a narrative approach to their commercial in order to grab their target audience. Once their audience is engaged, Apple uses a combination of camera angles and lack of dialogue to prove that their product is not only professional quality at a lower cost but also easy to use, something that will be much less intimidating for beginning filmmakers. By buying an iPhone 13, filmmakers, regardless of skill level, will have access to high-quality content without the cost of it.

And there’s no mystery about that.